Monday, June 11, 2012

Letting Things Go.

I'll be the first to admit, I have control issues. I like to be in control. I like plans. I'm not much for spontaneous activity. I needed to know Gwenyth's gender while she was in my womb so I could be prepared.

I like things in their place. I'm one of those people that cringe inside when someone moves something out of place in my home and then, when they leave, I immediately put it back.

I remember a distinct day early in my teaching career when I gave up on a few things:
     Moving chairs around after every class so there were only 3 per table.
     Making sure there were no puddles around the sinks.
     Sorting brushes by size.
     Counting Sharpies at the end of each class.
... just to name a few.

I found much freedom in letting those things go. I was much more relaxed. lost the "why can't they just do..." attitude. I enjoyed my job much more. Plus the kids could move chairs if they want an extra person at their table. The kids could find the right size brush even if they were all in one container. If a kid left with a Sharpie, I'd order more for next year. Wiping up puddles once at the end of the day was way less time that after every class.

Today, I felt that again. 

I had hopes that when guests walk into my house, there would be minimal evidence that there was a baby around. I planned on cute bins and boxes to hide toys. I planned on picking up every evening before going to bed. (Stop laughing...)

When I walked down the stairs today and saw the Little People farm, the Weeble play land, the walker, the Jumper-00, the books, the blocks and whatever else, strewn across the living room, I stopped in my tracks. I was annoyed. 

When I walked into the kitchen, I looked at my 'fridge covered in letter magnets and took a long, deep cleansing breath. I LET GO.

We have a kid. I love that kid more than words can describe. I want her to be able to play and explore. I don't want to waste time worrying about the messes she creates. I want to enjoy making the messes WITH her. 

It is only by the Grace of God that we have her. She is only going to be at this stage and in our care for a short amount of time in the scheme of life. So, I will embrace this. 

... and when you come to my house, you can move the Little People giraffe onto the farm and I won't even move it back to the zoo.  

Exploring... every minute of every day.

1 comment:

Heather and Eric said...

How in the world did you make it through the past few weeks of your pregnancy! This is the hardest, I think....when the doctor says it could be any day now or a few more weeks!! Can there please be some signs? I feel like I can't start anything, bc maybe in the next hour my life will change forever!
About all the toys, etc:
A guy at work said that is why nurseries are made; for the new parents to think they can "contain" all the baby stuff, shut the door and think their life will be the same. ha ha!
A woman I know says the same thing as you about the toys. She said one day she was annoyed & then just thought "this is how my twin girls learn, so the trail of toys from my bedroom to the kitchen is just showing that they are exploring."
Good post!