Friday, March 25, 2011

A Story...takin' a risk here...

My friend Laura wrote a great post the other day, and I have been thinking about it quite a bit since.  

We all have a story.

A little over two years ago, my story took on a horrid, horrid plot.  It's a plot that sadly happens to 50% of married couples. I thought my marriage was over.  When my husband confessed to me that he was involved with another woman, I remember my world crashing down around me.  I was raging angry and screaming.  Then, I was crying, crushed to the core.  I gave myself about 15 minutes to call him names and throw things at him.  Then, I remember this moment of focus and clarity.  It that moment I knew I wasn't going to give in, but I was ready to fight for my marriage.  

It's was a decision that I will NEVER regret.  There are still people, some of them my closest relations, that still don't understand or agree with that decision. 

So, how did I fight?  I let it out into the light.  We did not go through this battle in private.  I communicated with all of my trusted friends.  I got men of integrity to hound my husband.  I can't even tell you how many people I had praying for us.  I called him often to make sure he knew I was NOT giving up.  And when he finally followed a friend's advice to get away for awhile, I prayed.  That's all I could do.  I had no control.

My family kept me under their wings.  They held me up when I couldn't eat, clean, or take care of my dogs.  I am forever grateful for the role they played in what was one of the worst things in the world that could happen to their daughter/sister.  I can't imagine.  

My friends brought me macaroni and cheese, ice cream, and lots of tissues.  Some traveled hours to simply sit with me.  

It was because of my family and friends that I knew I would be okay no matter the outcome of this plot.  But knowing I would be okay didn't stop me from fighting. 

I was humbled and relieved when my husband came home to me.  I don't know why some people are more receptive to the movement of God and some are not.  I don't know why husband responded the way he did and other husbands leave their wives (or vise versa).   

God moved, and my husband freely made the choice to come home.  I am so grateful.  Because, I believe no matter what, God moved, but I am fully aware that Mike could have made the choice to freely leave.

Why did I share this with you?  
Photo by Diana Kleven of LifeLight Image Studios.
Because today, we are in a great place.  Today, I rejoice at how much healthier our marriage is now than it ever was even before the affair.  We have been very open with others in our healing journey, and our story has helped others in similar situations.  We shared with a couple just the other night who is facing a similar situation within their family.  As we talked, I noticed I wasn't crying.  I am not sad anymoreI am proud of us.  I am happy for us.  I am amazed at the grace of God. 

I share it that it might bring hope to marriages in crisis. 

I share it, because it's part of who I am.  It's part of my story.  

What's your story?  I would love to know it.  Link me up if you share.  

8 comments:

sara said...

a true woman of strength and grace. here's a blog that i follow: http://thenatos.blogspot.com/
the same thing happened to her. if you click on the 'marriage' link, their story.

Ali said...

Thank you for sharing such a personal story-- while I've not been through that trial I am sure that you are an example of hope and optimism in such a horrible situation. Thank you.

Jim Adams said...

Love you Chris and Mike.
Dad

Sara Carlson ***Doula*** said...

I have not been personally involved in a situation like that. However, I think it is such an amazing thing that you and Mike did. Coming back together and reconnecting after such a trial of faith, love, your marriage. That shows an amazing strength and an amazing trust in your Heavenly Father. :)

Christina Rambo said...

Thank you all for your kind words and support. I was nervous to share, but Mike read it and said he was all for sharing...it was just "time."

thanks for the link Sara!

Joel and Diana said...

This is just beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing! I am listening to "When It Was Over" by Sara Groves and it makes me think of the BEAUTY of y'alls story. Grooveshark it! Thank you for letting me stand beside you during that time... love washes over a multitude of things...

Noe said...

I admire you ! I respect you! and most of anything I pray that your marriage remain stronger forever.
Thank you for this post!

Michelle Brihn said...

My husband revealed two affairs over our 12 year marriage. The first was when I was pregnant with our, now 9 year old, son. The second was shortly after the birth of our second son, who is now 6. I'm devastated.

Though we're just starting counciling and I still don't know which path I will choose; your story inspires hope. It also lets me know that accepting help throughout this process will be okay.

Thank you for sharing your story, it makes those of us going through this feel less alone.